Almost back to normal

157.2 today, so at least I got off over 2 lbs of the gain from dinner. Hopefully the last 0.6 will be off tomorrow, and then I can work on making new progress before Tuesday's weigh in.

Yesterday was a very light day, since I was still so full, I didn't have much before dinner. Just some mixed fruit, and then a pb2 protein shake (I got it down to 180 calories for a pretty big serving, still probably should try cutting it lower). Dinner was ratatouille and some couscous. I was pretty hungry when I went to bed.

For workouts, I have strayed from 30DS for a few days now, just haven't been feeling it. Hoping to get one in today. Yesterday I did my Thursday 4.2 mile walk with mom, and some random jumping jacks and things earlier in the day (just a little at a time to break up my sitting at work).

Today I tried out protein pancakes again, except altered the recipe quite a bit to try to make them better. They were pretty good, but actually more calories than I expected, once I added everything up. It probably made the equivalent of 4 pancakes though (I stupidly poured all the batter in the skillet, so ended up having to chop up a giant pancake into 4). I will try a half recipe next time, or actually make 4 and save 2 for another meal. It seems like all the healthy living bloggers out there eat so much for breakfast, but we like to have bigger dinners, so I try to keep my breakfasts under 200 calories if possible, 300 max. My breakfast today was probably a little over once I added toppings to my pancakes. I'll have to make sure lunch is lighter.

I am still thinking about making up a separate, less personal blog to post healthier recipes, but most of them are inspired by other people, not really my idea, though I do alter them a lot to put my own twist on them. So, not sure if I will or not.

Man, I want to see 155 so badly....

FULL

Wow. I have to say it was kind of weird feeling full. Last night was the first time I have felt full in 10 weeks. I actually still feel full, because I definitely didn't hold back. I enjoyed myself, and sampled a lot of things including quite a few desserts. And I don't feel bad about it, so that is progress. Not saying cheating is a good thing to do or anything, and I certainly could have splurged without going as over the top as I did, but you only live once. For one meal, I didn't think about calories or what I "should" eat instead at all, and that was a nice break.

I am up 3 lbs today, but am pretty confident that half of that will be gone by tomorrow, and I will work off the rest.

On the brighter side, I finally had a full night's sleep, I made progress in the bathroom, I don't feel quite as sick/weak, and I feel more motivated. I am choosing to focus on the positives.

I am getting my groove back starting this morning.

And, since I never post pics and blogs with no pics are pretty boring, here's my husband and I on our 3 yr anniversary. I am showing less of a double chin than I used to, but can't wait until my face is less round, if that ever happens.

5th place

Back to 5th.. though not by much. Pretty much no chance left for anyone to beat the leader who supposedly lost 3% more in the past week... which is like 8 or 9 lbs for him. Pretty crazy, no idea what the heck he is doing, but it seems so unfair when I've been working out so much and never really cheating. Oh well. I am still working on my own goals, and maybe it'll work out that I'll get 3rd, who knows.

Tonight is buffet time.. we'll see how I do. I just tried to get in a killer workout which did not work out. I quit at 30 minutes of not very high intensity. I don't understand why I just seem to have no energy anymore. I had a good breakfast.. egg white omelet with veggies and some chicken sausage, small piece of cheese, 1/2 a bagel thin with a bit of yogurt mixed with pb2 on top. Lotsa protein, little bit of fat, and some carbs.

I think part of the problem with both my energy and my weight gain may be bathroom issues. I have been having more trouble going lately, which I don't get either because I am eating plenty of fiber and everything. Maybe not enough fat? I don't know, but it's been making some of my exercises more annoying to do too because my stomach has been bothering me.

Anyway. If I have to take it easier for a bit, I guess I will. My throat has been bothering me a bit too, and still not sleeping well either, so I'm just generally feeling blah. I'm not going to win anyway, so I may as well try to listen to my body and do what I think is best for it.

The scale was back to 156.6 today, so almost as low as I was most of last week. Of course, that will be ruined tonight, but I will get it back off.

Monday's over, time to move on

Well. Monday definitely didn't work out like I wanted. The problem wasn't dessert after dinner (I stuck with a bit of sf jello), but between my pathetic workout and dinner. I had probably 2 handfuls (kept going back for another bite..) of a mix of dried fruit, some nuts, chocolate and peanut butter chips, and cereal. Not good! Blah! Dinner was ok, just a chicken sausage, spinach, carrots, and salad. But I felt sooo moody and blah all day.

I finally got a little more sleep, so I am trying my hardest to make today a good day. I am really disappointed that I am going to lose the competition, pretty much definitely, thanks to everyone else having a great week, right when I do badly. Today was 157 even, so -0.4 from last Tuesday, which puts me right at 12%. But, one of the leaders somehow pulled off over 3% this week, judging by his facebook status, so that is impossible to catch up to. It just makes me mad because most of last week, at least I was at 156.4, which sounds so much better than 157. Maybe I would have been back there if I had skipped the stupid snacking! But I don't trust my body, I just get mad when it does unexplained gaining, and then I make it worse by deserving the gain.

Alright. Well. Can't change what's done. 2 weeks left. Tomorrow is evil day. I am still going to enjoy it, because otherwise I will be mad at all the money spent on a dinner I did not even want/like. Then I am starting over on Thursday (maybe with a million hours of running if I have time, haha), with all my energy into doing things right.

On a brighter note, the husband hit 220 even today, definitely the lowest I've seen him in a very long time. We got a gazelle with resistance yesterday, so he can improve his workouts even more. I'm confident we can get him to his goal of 195ish in a few months. AND my goal of under 140. It will happen!

I ate chocolate

And half-assed my workout. Today is not on a good path at all. I feel like crap and am soooo tired. I finished off my healthy lunch with a russell stover's maple cream egg (110 calories) that I just had to buy at Publix the other day. I just wanted something sweet and decided I would have it, even though I told myself no snacks and nothing worse than sf jello for dessert for most of this week to make up for wednesday's planned splurge.

Then, I almost fell asleep, and had to get my workout in a little early so we can go look at a gazelle tonight (hopefully at least we'll cross that off the list and get one), but I knew there was no way in hell I could get through 30DS, so I just did my little stairstepper and a little more low intensity cardio, for a measly 35 minutes. I try to shoot for an hour these days. Anyway, I feel lame, but I don't want to push my body today. Plus, my outer thigh is a bit bruised from me stupidly trying to do skater moves on my workout mat on top of my hard floor (usually I do it on the mat on carpet) and it slipped out from under me and I fell on my leg/butt.

Anyway, I'm just feeling crummy and wanted to own up to my laziness/cheaterness in the hopes that it will straighten me out and I won't continue on a downward spiral. I'm hoping to have my planned sensible dinner, maybe just maybe another 30 min workout, but if not, just go to bed early and hopefully catch up on sleep...

@%#^!$#

158.0. WTF???? OMG. Ok, the scale needs to be tortured big time. The past 2 days, it has been so UNFAIRLY mean to me. What have I done to deserve this?? NOTHING. I had no cheat meals. I took one mostly rest day (did some gardening, but no actual workout), and had one high cardio day. I followed my plan. So where did this pound and a half come from??

I can't think of anything to blame it on. No periods coming up. No muscle weight gain. No unnecessary levels of salt. I drank plenty of water. I did not eat 4,000+ extra calories this weekend. So, whatever. Maybe it was because I've had a hard time falling asleep the past few days? I just don't know.

I had hoped to hit 155 tomorrow, but that is obviously not happening. The best I can hope for is to get rid of this unfair gain.

I am definitely not in a good mood. Wednesday is our 3rd wedding anniversary, and the husband wants to go to a fancy prime rib and seafood buffet on the beach. I was going to just go all out and enjoy it, one single killer meal out of 12 weeks of being perfect, but now I am dreading it and dreading the results afterwards. I worry too much. This sucks, and I just want these last 2 weeks to be over. So what if I don't win. I don't know why I am making such a big deal out of it. It's a few hundred bucks and cool points, that is it. Not worth losing my sanity over.

I'm just going to do my best to hang in there. I will follow my eating plan, work out every day. Today will be a good day. So will tomorrow. I don't care if the scale doesn't agree. And Wednesday, I am enjoying celebrating with my husband. Then back to being good on Thursday, to finish this thing out, whatever happens.

Weekend's sometimes scare me

But when I have nothing social planned or events to check out, I'm not worried. This is one of those weekends that not much is going on, so I know I will come out of it fine. I passed on a gathering with friends at an irish pub tonight, in favor of getting some shopping done, since the husband was out with the guys and I never have time to myself.

Then I came home and made a healthy sandwich and light salad for myself. It was nice not having to prepare a meal that someone else has to eat too. Though I shouldn't complain about cooking, at least the husband has been mostly good about eating my weird, healthier dinners without complaining much.. though he certainly misses eating out. But, I can never get away with just cereal and fruit for dinner or anything, like I'd sometimes prefer to do.

I was still at 156.4 today, so I'm glad that didn't seem to be a fluke. I switched it up and did my 30DS-3 as soon as I woke up today, then did another 25 minutes of interval cardio before lunch. Usually on weekdays I either do 30DS before lunch and 4 mile walk with mom after lunch (Tuesday/Thursday), or do a longer 30DS+cardio from 5-6pm. Morning workouts are only on weekends. But I want to do anything I can to keep my body guessing. I don't want to plateau!

The mission this weekend is to find a new gazelle for the husband. Ours is falling apart (after like 9 years, so not too bad), and it's the only way he will work out (he plays video games while running on it). I would rather get an elliptical, but I might still do that, if I can find one at a decent price. I am proud of him though, he's about halfway to his main goal (getting under 200), and lighter than he's been in probably 5 years or more. It's fun doing this together. I think I'll drag him to play tennis on Sunday instead of doing a traditional workout.